We've been having trouble getting local citizens out for biking, so we're giving them an incentive.
If a Rider finishes the first 25 miles he or she gets a free Thirty Pack of beer, his or her choice.
A contestant can drink his beer at the 25 mile point but they must be able to complete the Fifty miles for the Grand Prize.
The Grand Prize is given to all those who finish within the required time limit (36 hours) and the Grand Prize is, A Cartoon of Cigarettes, your choice.
You will be able to Smoke while riding but not drink beer while riding but we will have Beer at Rest Stop 37 mile, carry your ID.
Beer will also be available at Rest Stop 10, to purchase at a moderate price, heh it's cold beer.
If any of the Entrants is a "Celiac" we will have Gluten Free Beer available.
It has been suggested that for this ride All Entrants should print their Social Security Number on their arm.
I think we'll need a Doctor on call and an RN at each Rest Stop.
Pistols will be permitted, only for dogs and cars that pass to close.
All Entrants will definitely most positively need to sign a "Disclaimer".
We're trying to line up some FourWheelers so we can give the kids FourWheeler rides at the finish, yes FourWheelers with Motors.
Also there'll be free Beer on Tap at the finish and we're trying to get the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders or the Bud Girls to serve it up.
There's a chance we might have a Rockin Band, you didn't hear me say "Don Henley".
This is not official so don't let the word out, I could be swamped with entrants.
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I knew that there would be changes and additions to my original idea.
My first change came yesterday when I was discussing the ride idea with an old coworker, who just got out of Prison in February, for DWI.
I told him about getting a "SixPack" for riding the first 25 miles. As soon as I said it I knew I had screwed up, I saw his eyes roll around in his head and he says, "ride all the way from Linden to Jefferson for a SixPack, you gotta be shittin me."
So now you'll notice if you make the 25 miles you'll get a 30 pack. I don't know what I was thinking, I know you don't mention "SixPack" to a Real Drinker, it just makes em mad.